Prayer - Miracles

When I became part of the Charismatic Christian Movement in the early 1970's, miracles in answer to prayer were talked about all the time. It was assumed that with the right amount of faith and praying according to God's will, anything was possible. I discovered that there were positive and negative aspects of that belief.

On the positive side depending on faith and trusting God caused me to pray about everything. I saw many answers to prayer. On the negative side, when I had been diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and others prayed for me without seeing any change, I was blamed for not having enough faith. This crushed me when I was already weak and debilitated. I became resigned to having little expectation for a miracle of my own.

Then five years into the illness, I discovered a spiritual director who had a background in Jungian psychology and who worked with dreams. This came at a great time because I was losing motivation simply to go on living. I made arrangements to spend three days at the retreat center where he worked, and he asked me to keep track of my dreams. We talked about them when we got together. The second night of the retreat I had a remarkable dream from which I woke up well. When he saw me the next day, he was startled by the change he saw. The healing was obvious. I was completely overwhelmed with the healing power of God which brought about this miracle.

Eighteen years later, the Chronic Fatigue Syndrome came out of remission, and having had a miracle in the past, I hoped for a second one. I worked with my dreams. I worked with a spiritual director. I prayed. I read books on healing. I had hope God would provide what I so longed for. This time, however, the miracle was in being led to a medical team which treated me over a period of a year and a half. Again the healing took place, but it was much harder. Nevertheless I felt companioned by God both within and from friends and family. Not only was I healed physically, but I learned that I could share my deepest distress and find others who could handle it and comfort me. A sense of being alone in the world was eased.

 Miracles come in many shapes and sizes. The instant cure is only one of these. Most important is that  God is involved in our lives to the extent that whatever happens, God is working to bring good out of it. I camp out on the fact that God loves me and wants fullness of life for me, that the Spirit will always be at work within me bringing me to wholeness. There may be fallow, dry and discouraging places, but they are seasons that pass and the One Who Loves is breathing our very life into us until it's time to go home. It is this Oneness with God by the Spirit that is the source of our life and our hope for healing.

"I (Jesus) in them (you and me) and you (the Father) in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." John 17:23

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him...." Romans 8:28

Dream Books:

Christian:
Dreams: A Way to Listen to God
Morton Kelsey

Psychology:
A Little Course in Dreaams
Robert Bosnak

Let Your Body Interpret Your Dreams
Eugene T. Gendlin, Ph.D.

Prayer - Answers

When I have asked for prayer, what I notice is that my life runs more smoothly, that blockages to my progress toward a goal are simplified or removed, that I have a stronger sense of confidence in God and myself, that a great sense of well being encompasses me. I ask for prayer a lot these days.

For the last few months I have needed information on the health of someone I love dearly, but his family would not respond, and in one case, actually commanded me never to contact the family again. I poured out my woes to a friend I’ve had since childhood, and she put me on her church’s prayer chain. She also suggested holding the family in the light of Christ as a way of moving toward forgiveness for their indifference and hurtful behavior.

During my morning time of contemplative prayer, I touched my love for Christ and his for me, and was able to bring forth through holy imagination, a golden light of Christ’s love and sacrifice to embrace each member of the family, myself, and my inner child who is hurting terribly. This immediately gave me some relief, and the next day I received a call from one of the family with a thorough update on my friend.

God cares about those matters that are close to our heart, and is there for us to pour that heart out with the expectation that in some surprising way, at a specific time, an answer will come that surprises us.